Funny Stories take two! If you missed the first set of stories...go back and read Funny Scuba Diver Girls Stories #1 
Scuba Diver Girls Fan Elbert Greer from San Pedro, Belize: I had a large grouper staring at me very close, in what I thought would be a comical gesture I took my regulator out and offered it to him as if he where an out of air diver....well he took it, the whole thing in his mouth and there i was with out one. We stared at one another a moment then he spit it out and i put it back in my mouth. swapped spit with a grouper that day. 
Scuba Diver Girl Kristen from Stanford, CA: My dive buddy got humped by a juvenile seal (just like a dog on a leg)... beyond words funny! I've never laughed so hard underwater than I did watching this seal on my dive buddy's tank, trying to have his way with it & the look on my buddy's face. Priceless! Scuba Diver Girl Paula: I forgot my bikini , dove just with a wetsuit , lol , was nice...
Scuba Diver Girls Fan John: Back in the 80's my older brother Brian and I were abalone diving in Mendocino Bay, Ca. As we were hunting in the kelp beds all morning the sea lions were very interested in our activity. I kept thinking 
"sea lions are shark food", and got myself a bit of anxiety going. After prying a nice abalone off a rock at 45 fsw I headed up to the surface with my prize, it was more of a climb up the kelp. Then I felt something slam into my legs, from below, right as I surfaced! I instinctively began beating the hell out of what my mind had told me was a shark. Armed with a 9 inch abalone and my iron I laid a beating on the mysterious creature all in a fury. As the wake of my wrath subsided, there was my brother mask and snorkel knocked off his face bloodied and dazed. I can still see the look on his face as he shouted at me "What the hell are you doing!" We both had dropped our Abalone and he chased me back to the boat swinging at me with his iron! 
Scuba Diver Girl Ingrid from Reading, United Kingdom: Have had many good times under water - can't necessarily think of many funny ones apart from when my husband and I did our first deep dive to 30m for the AOW course. We were asked to do a number of tasks to see if the pressure was affecting us. We had to write our name backwards and do some simple sums such as 5+2-3=... Chris has always teased me because I am hopeless at maths (although obviously I can do something this simple) Chris, however, is an accountant. Well he really struggled with the various sums whereas I did them straight away. Guess who was being teased on the boat on the way back?!!! 
Scuba Diver Girl Margo in San Diego, Ca: Steph and I were diving along the reef one day in La Jolla and it must have been after a big storm or something because we found so much stuff. Masks and snorkels, sunglasses, someone id and keys etc. But the funniest thing is we found a full rod and reel fishing pool! we laughed so hard and carried it back. So we exit the water holding the pole and there were some people standing on the beach and they said "Did you catch anything?" the funny thing is that they were serious!!!
"sea lions are shark food", and got myself a bit of anxiety going. After prying a nice abalone off a rock at 45 fsw I headed up to the surface with my prize, it was more of a climb up the kelp. Then I felt something slam into my legs, from below, right as I surfaced! I instinctively began beating the hell out of what my mind had told me was a shark. Armed with a 9 inch abalone and my iron I laid a beating on the mysterious creature all in a fury. As the wake of my wrath subsided, there was my brother mask and snorkel knocked off his face bloodied and dazed. I can still see the look on his face as he shouted at me "What the hell are you doing!" We both had dropped our Abalone and he chased me back to the boat swinging at me with his iron! Scuba Diver Girl Ingrid from Reading, United Kingdom: Have had many good times under water - can't necessarily think of many funny ones apart from when my husband and I did our first deep dive to 30m for the AOW course. We were asked to do a number of tasks to see if the pressure was affecting us. We had to write our name backwards and do some simple sums such as 5+2-3=... Chris has always teased me because I am hopeless at maths (although obviously I can do something this simple) Chris, however, is an accountant. Well he really struggled with the various sums whereas I did them straight away. Guess who was being teased on the boat on the way back?!!! Scuba Diver Girl Margo in San Diego, Ca: Steph and I were diving along the reef one day in La Jolla and it must have been after a big storm or something because we found so much stuff. Masks and snorkels, sunglasses, someone id and keys etc. But the funniest thing is we found a full rod and reel fishing pool! we laughed so hard and carried it back. So we exit the water holding the pole and there were some people standing on the beach and they said "Did you catch anything?" the funny thing is that they were serious!!! Scuba Diver Girl Caroline from Charlotteville, Trinidad and Tobago: There's a great Bird Sanctuary Island 
near us & after our dives we sat in the Bay looking at the Red-Billed Tropic Birds all around us. Needless to say, some poop got on my wetsuit.....when we got back to land, some gawpers asked what was on my wetsuit....I told 'em it was Parrot Fish poo.....they believed me!!! LOL
near us & after our dives we sat in the Bay looking at the Red-Billed Tropic Birds all around us. Needless to say, some poop got on my wetsuit.....when we got back to land, some gawpers asked what was on my wetsuit....I told 'em it was Parrot Fish poo.....they believed me!!! LOL Scuba Diver Girls Fan Ray from Santa Maria Estate, Mellieħa, Malta: well...on the 
second dive of the day and after a great meal at lunch time, feeling twice the size around my tummy and grossly uncomfortable... at 36 meters I decided what the heck, who's gonna know....I let rip!! At that point I was almost vertical near a wreck's hull....my weight belt slid down to my knees.... if it wasn't for my wing's crotch strap, I'd have lost it ;-) Scuba Diver Girls Fan Paul from San Diego, Ca: I went diving on the RubeyE the first week it went down and sat on the toilet. 
Scuba Diver Girl Belinda: We were diving on Crocker reef in a spot called "The Hawks' Bill' and there was 
supposedly a large male Lager head turtle hanging around the reef, trying to mate with the divers. Although we never saw him, the whole dive boat was nervously scanning for that darn turtle the whole dive.
second dive of the day and after a great meal at lunch time, feeling twice the size around my tummy and grossly uncomfortable... at 36 meters I decided what the heck, who's gonna know....I let rip!! At that point I was almost vertical near a wreck's hull....my weight belt slid down to my knees.... if it wasn't for my wing's crotch strap, I'd have lost it ;-) Scuba Diver Girls Fan Paul from San Diego, Ca: I went diving on the RubeyE the first week it went down and sat on the toilet. Scuba Diver Girl Belinda: We were diving on Crocker reef in a spot called "The Hawks' Bill' and there was supposedly a large male Lager head turtle hanging around the reef, trying to mate with the divers. Although we never saw him, the whole dive boat was nervously scanning for that darn turtle the whole dive. Scuba Diver Girl Melanie in San Diego, Ca: My husband and I got engaged under water! It was the worst dive ever. ;) OK let me clarify! Newly certified, we were planning our first dive alone. My husband says let's go check out the Marine Room and try to find the leopard sharks. Well my 
weight was all off, I kept struggling and we were completely going in circles staring at SAND! After the fifth time of popping up I said let's just quit this, he said let's try one last time. Ok so we are under about 6 feet of water and I see him trying to write something on the under water tablet. He flips it over and there are a couple of words scribbled in that I can't make out, and then "will you marry me?". Of course I was freaking out and he pulls out a small clear pill bottle with the ring in it, he'd even put a cotton ball in there and filled it with water so it wouldn't be affected by the pressure (although no worries about that on this particular crappy dive!!). After that we didn't care about the leopard sharks anymore! 
Scuba Diver Girl Julia from Chesterfield, United Kingdom: I went to a Saturday night pool session and was minding my own business playing with my new dry suit when a leg floated up past me!! I thought there was a shark in the pool & nearly did a vertical exit onto the high dive boards, found out later it was a disabled diver trying to find out the best way for him to dive, when he tried to use his artificial leg with fins they kept falling off so now he just dives with his good leg & a fin.
weight was all off, I kept struggling and we were completely going in circles staring at SAND! After the fifth time of popping up I said let's just quit this, he said let's try one last time. Ok so we are under about 6 feet of water and I see him trying to write something on the under water tablet. He flips it over and there are a couple of words scribbled in that I can't make out, and then "will you marry me?". Of course I was freaking out and he pulls out a small clear pill bottle with the ring in it, he'd even put a cotton ball in there and filled it with water so it wouldn't be affected by the pressure (although no worries about that on this particular crappy dive!!). After that we didn't care about the leopard sharks anymore! Scuba Diver Girl Julia from Chesterfield, United Kingdom: I went to a Saturday night pool session and was minding my own business playing with my new dry suit when a leg floated up past me!! I thought there was a shark in the pool & nearly did a vertical exit onto the high dive boards, found out later it was a disabled diver trying to find out the best way for him to dive, when he tried to use his artificial leg with fins they kept falling off so now he just dives with his good leg & a fin. Scuba Diver Girls Fan Amrit: Mine was at a dive site called holt's rock which was popular was the giant friendly moray eel.. the dive instructor was looking for the moray while we all waited a lil behind.. at one 
time i looked behind.. and i saw the moray eel.. (2m long!! huge body) entangle my brother.. and was face to face .. with it.. omg.. after a while of playing with the moray.. it disappeared.. so we continued our dive.. i was busy doing a macro shot.. extremely focused in my picture... and that moray sneaked on me.. and popped its head right in front on my camera! it scared the shit out of me.. it got scared too and ran! i looked at my bro and he was laughing the crap out! i could even hear him laugh ! Very fun dive :) 
Scuba Diver Girl Elizabeth from Wilmington, NC: Before one dive that was about 30 miles out, we all agreed that the first person to get seasick and 'feed the fish' would have to address everyone as "My lord" for the rest of the day. I thought it was hysterical, so I agreed. Well, guess who was the first person to upchuck. ME! I wasn't the only one, thankfully, but I was the first, so I was saying "Yes, my lord...no, my lord" for the rest of the day! Scuba Diver Girl Occhi from San Diego, Ca: My first and so far only solo dive, I was tense but wanted to check more in detail this German wreck I... See More've been free diving for a while… now I'm down and with tons of air ready to explore… go inside, being extra careful since I haven't penetrate a wreck before, my heart is 
pumping… so exited! the hall is turning dark and darker… I'm trying not to kick the silt… point my light forward raise my head and poke in the corner… WHACK! face to face to the biggest LIPS on sea! The grouper got scared and turn… I got scared tried to turn; there were bubbles and silt all over… yeah all this on a 6x4 ft hall… total mess!... Phew! finally out I took a moment to put myself together… well grouper shows up acting totally cool like saying "hey don't go in there, there's a weirdo disturbing da' house". Now I'm Deep, Wreck, Nitrox and DM certified and still don't do solo dives :) Scuba Diver Girl Anita: Last dive of our week in Roatan...taking it easy when a Remora came out of nowhere and 
attached itself to my fin, I kicked my fin and it flew off and landed right on my dive friend's crotch! He looked down and saw it 'dangling' and started swimming and twisting about like Curly from the 3 stooges. Still laughing to this day! Made our last dive incredibly memorable!
time i looked behind.. and i saw the moray eel.. (2m long!! huge body) entangle my brother.. and was face to face .. with it.. omg.. after a while of playing with the moray.. it disappeared.. so we continued our dive.. i was busy doing a macro shot.. extremely focused in my picture... and that moray sneaked on me.. and popped its head right in front on my camera! it scared the shit out of me.. it got scared too and ran! i looked at my bro and he was laughing the crap out! i could even hear him laugh ! Very fun dive :) Scuba Diver Girl Elizabeth from Wilmington, NC: Before one dive that was about 30 miles out, we all agreed that the first person to get seasick and 'feed the fish' would have to address everyone as "My lord" for the rest of the day. I thought it was hysterical, so I agreed. Well, guess who was the first person to upchuck. ME! I wasn't the only one, thankfully, but I was the first, so I was saying "Yes, my lord...no, my lord" for the rest of the day! Scuba Diver Girl Occhi from San Diego, Ca: My first and so far only solo dive, I was tense but wanted to check more in detail this German wreck I... See More've been free diving for a while… now I'm down and with tons of air ready to explore… go inside, being extra careful since I haven't penetrate a wreck before, my heart is pumping… so exited! the hall is turning dark and darker… I'm trying not to kick the silt… point my light forward raise my head and poke in the corner… WHACK! face to face to the biggest LIPS on sea! The grouper got scared and turn… I got scared tried to turn; there were bubbles and silt all over… yeah all this on a 6x4 ft hall… total mess!... Phew! finally out I took a moment to put myself together… well grouper shows up acting totally cool like saying "hey don't go in there, there's a weirdo disturbing da' house". Now I'm Deep, Wreck, Nitrox and DM certified and still don't do solo dives :) Scuba Diver Girl Anita: Last dive of our week in Roatan...taking it easy when a Remora came out of nowhere and attached itself to my fin, I kicked my fin and it flew off and landed right on my dive friend's crotch! He looked down and saw it 'dangling' and started swimming and twisting about like Curly from the 3 stooges. Still laughing to this day! Made our last dive incredibly memorable! Scuba Diver Girls Fan Kenneth in Saint Petersburg, FL: I was swimming along a shallow grass flats when I saw something white off a short way over. I swam over & picked up some1s lost dentures!!!
Please help us give a wounded or disabled veteran a chance to enjoy the wonderful and sometimes funny experience of scuba diving! We are collecting gear and donations for this organization and could use everyone's help! No donation is too small! Read more about how you can help on our Put the Heart Back in Scuba Campaign!
